The Check that Always Bounces
Originally posted: 22, January, 2015
Today has been a no motivation day. I quietly sit at the shop and idle away my hours seeking ways to fill my time with menial to “no importance whatsoever” tasks. After the rough days I feel owed these bouts of laziness; of course when every other day feels like a “rough day” you begin to notice a pattern that has you battering yourself about in a single dodge-ball tournament with the formidable ‘Wall’ opponent…hello solo. (insert wink) This is code for…self-loathing for the win! Pinterest ever wants to be a source of perpetual idleness for me, but hey I find good ideas, quotes, and yes okay I waste my time!
Pinterest delivers! :
Never run back to whatever broke you.
I think my alter ego at times resembles a brow beaten puppy because no matter how often ‘my owner’ tries to break me I’m a sucker for the in between states in which I may merit a kind word or rub behind the ears. Mostly I run back to memories, the people, the moments, the world screeching instances that caused everything to stop. My past doesn’t care about me, at least not in the “we want to see you succeed” prospect of caring. Why do I run to the past?
Our anxieties need a home and what better nourishment/sustainability for that home than the brokenness of our pasts?
I’m better at keeping track of the failures than the accomplishments and the sad thing? While I’m proficient at this with others in my everyday life, I am a gold-star-a-day card carrying member for tracking my own fails. Thomas Edison is someone I don’t necessarily esteem, but my Mum, lately, likes to remind me, “Look at Edison. He tried and failed nearly 2,000 times. So you keep going.”
It is apparent we watch National Treasure too much.
The past broke me. The past reminds me how I often I have failed. The past often encumbers my ability to move forward and try again. The past employs me in the good ole field of worrier. The past does a bang up job, doesn’t it! And while it employs and the pay is good, if only in the essence of a job well done…the damn paycheck is always bouncing. So why do I stay in the past and why do I worry more than I ought? Well there are many things I ought to do and I ought not to do…does that mean stubborn me, thinks she has it all figured out will ever listen? Not likely.
I think as a writer and reader it is apparent that I am not alone. Everyone worries, everyone deals with their past in different degrees of severity. That in and of itself should be enough and should shake us out of our holes, to the surface of this world to realize WORRY DON’T PAY MY BILLS. It accomplishes nothing, but a constant battle that should not be allowed to win the war that is our life.
Preaching. To. The. Choir. Hello Kettle?
So let’s hand over our notice or we can at the very least ask for less hours, let’s donate our old running shoes, and get a new pair! Or we could give up running in any direction and content ourselves with dancing. Dancing is always the first and best option, don’t you agree?
Do you ever feel like God’s words are nagging at your soul? You want to bat them away and say, “I know, now leave me alone to figure it out!”? I don’t find God to be easily batted away (insert wink). Truth be told I’m not very good in the ‘remembering scripture department’, but this verse has been “plaguing” me for the better part of 2 weeks. I made a graphic because that has also been tinkering around in my mind asking to be created. Whether you are a follower (a.k.a. Christian, not a word I’m fond of using) or what have you, you can attest the reminder to not worry, to be anxious for nothing, has redeemable and remember worthy qualities.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Guarding our hearts? Where do I sign?
Guarding our minds? Bring out the blueprints!
So bad day blues, I wrote a blog post and I brought out a bit of my inner graphic designer. Take that!
I have to add another charge to Pinterest’s rap sheet for the day:
I want to be tasked with greatness…but the bumps along the way are somehow helping, erm right? (insert wink)
This blog post was created while listening to the sounds of…Woodkid…you’re welcome (insert wink).