They kicked me off the team and why goals aren’t for me

Originally posted: 2, January, 2015

Once upon a time I created goal lists. Sometimes these goal lists were vast and detailed and other times small, but yet grand in expectation. The commonality among all the lists? A resounding and overwhelming feeling of failure. The New Year would arrive and the list(s) would have little to none marked off as accomplished. I would be left feeling so much woe and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know how I could possibly commit to another list, least of all admit (because often I made my lists public) I didn’t do much with my year, in the way of the list(s) anyways.

Until…

I read an article (wish I could remember where) in which the writer stated how detrimental Goal Lists or New Year Resolutions Lists can be to some folks. Obviously I was/am one of these people. Upon further reflection it isn’t that I’m a failure or lazy or any number of excuses that lead to the slow death of my lists…its that I thrive better in the moment. I can and do get too caught up in the constant whirl, exhaustive competition with self, to remember the list, remember the list. A frantic, fatalistic, version of the White Rabbit so to speak.

white rabbit out of time alice in wonderland.png

I don’t need the pressure or the end of the year depression/pity party when I can’t compete with the high demands I force upon myself. It is time for a realistic approach to another year passing and another beginning.

I’m not poo-pooing others who make these lists. By all means you ‘list make’ like a boss. I still enjoy a good ‘To Do List’ or ‘Reading List’, but lists of the goal variety are for someone else. It is important to establish, on an individual basis, what works and doesn’t. I only wish I had realized this a long time ago.

I didn’t have a goal list in 2014 because I had read the article shortly before the beginning of the year. I proceeded with the New Year in a slightly puzzled fashioned as it was a new concept not to have the ‘rules’ and ‘guidelines’ of a resolution list dictating to me. My. Year. Was. Full. Enough. Without. It. End. Of. Story.

nerves mrs. bennet.png

So I don’t have a goal list in mind for 2015 (for reasons already stated), but I do have a mental list of things I wouldn’t mind seeing come to fruition, but they won’t make or break the year I’m charged with living this year (insert wink). There’s the obvious Goodreads Reading Challenge and I have a few challenges that accompany it. (I can and will share these later.) For one, I really need to make good on my commitment to certain books. Also known as…a list of books I started and never finished and according to Goodreads that list is coming in at about 12 books. Have mercy I hope that’s all there is!

My brother created a 52 Movies (1 a week) Challenge for us and I will share that as well. He was inspired by the various reading lists we are using this year. It is a great challenge and I’m in charge of creating the graphic. However, my internet connection was all over the place today.

I want an office. Even though I’m a grown-up (by whose definition I haven’t the foggiest) I have this child perception of being able to be brilliant, but only with an office. A prestigious desk, a plethora of office supplies because everyone has a guilty pleasure in them for these items, and a perfect nook where all the magic will happen.

I have a few other ideas brewing, but I want some surprises (for you and me) and I’m often prone to believing once I write things down I jinx them. We are going to let things blossom as they see fit.

What about you? Are you ‘goaling it’ this year? Do you like the pressure? Do you have reading goals? I want to know!

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This is my first blog post here on the website. It is difficult to say goodbye to the blog I have had almost 7 years (June would have marked the beginning of my blogging career). However, the prospect of pushing more traffic to this gorgeous creation and the things I am endeavoring to put into action here are too alluring. I’m leaving my old blog up and alive for now, With A Flower!, and I encourage you to head over read and comment. I put so many bits of my heart into my writings there…just like I hope to do so here. Over time I may transfer them here or keep both running, I haven’t quite decided. Until then…happy reading!